Dear friends,
After 13 years and 2 beautiful children together, Yale and I haveparted our ways. Yale moved out last week.
Dear Diane/Tao Dan Yang,
Over the past couple of years, you knew everything about my family.You knew when my kids had their soccer tournaments, you knew whenthey had their swimming practices. You even knew their babynicknames. On December 18th, 2009, on a noon flight, I took mychildren to the U.S. for Christmas vacation. On the very same day,December 18th, 2009, on an afternoon flight, you and Yale took offfor the beaches of Phuket and shopping streets of Bangkok forChristmas vacation. Diane, as a fellow woman, I often wondered ifthe level of ecstasy this vacation had brought you equates to thelevel of devastation this vacation had brought to my children andme. Diane, I often asked myself what was it like for you to sleepin the arms of another woman's husband, other children's father? Iwondered if you ever thought about us, the children and the wife,that we are made of flesh and blood, that we have feelings, that wecould get hurt, very hurt, devastatingly hurt. I pondered if youknew you were destroying a family, if you knew your joy would bringendless tears to us.
We went to Beijing last week for Chinese New Year. Your clotheswere in our Beijing home. My son screamed:" Mommy, don't touchthose, they are disgusting! Set them on fire, burn them to hell.They are the devil's cloth!" My children are hurt. My daughter, 9years old, now says "Mommy, I don't ever want to get married." Myson, 8 years old, says "Diane is our Voldemort!" The psychologicaldamage this affair has done to my children is catastrophic. Theyare forever emotionally damaged. With this, I announce you thewinner.
How do I feel, Diane? This affair is like 10 thousand knivesstabbing and chopping my heart all at once. This affair has left mein so much pain that I don't know how to heal myself. This affairhas taught me tear supply can actually be infinite. This affair hascrushed me, leaving me a corpse walking around with no heart. Idon't know how to deal with this kind of pain. I don't know how tomove on. But I have children. I must move on. Diane, I pray to Godthat you will never have to experience this kind of betrayal andhurt. I wish you and Yale a happy life together because, after all,we are all women and we all deserve to be happy.
Please do not bring the personal issues to the public. The truth ofthe facts is that our marriage had been falling apart 8 years ago,divorce had been in discussion 5 years ago. Our issues are known toall the people in the word! Diane had done nothing wrong for herpart! I am firmly standing by and behind Diane. I will certainlyhope she will marry me one day soon!
Trying to tell the people how evil I am and Diane is in this way isnot going to succeed! All the people, who knows you, me and ourmarriage, supported my divorce, including my good friend Zhu Wei. Iam sorry I have dragged everyone into this. Lily please moveon!
I understand that you aregoing through a difficult time in your personal life, and Isincerely hope that you will find a way to deal with it that is thebest for you and your children.
I do understand how youfeel. Ialso understand, however, that a marriage can only break apart fromthe inside. I do not appreciateyour attempt to smear my reputation and paint me as the homewrecker. You know as well as Yale does that your marriage fell apart longbefore Yale and I even met. Whether or not I amin Yale's life has nothing to do with the eventual outcome of yourmarriage. I am sure you understand this as well, but you nonetheless soughtto burn me on the cross as the scapegoat for your failed marriage,which I do not believe is a mature thing to do.
Your description of theemotional damage your children have suffered is disturbingindeed. Icannot help but wondering what you have been tellingthem. Iwould think that a mother's first and foremost priority is toprotect her children from any emotional damage, rather than usingthem as bargaining chips with a spouse or as props to win publicsympathy. Yale is the children's father and will always be. I am sure he willalways love them and be the best father he can be tothem. Wouldn't it make more sense, for the sake of the children'swellbeing, to emphasize to them that both their parents will alwayslove them even though one parent will not be living with them allthe time? I do not see what benefit there could possibly be to teach thechildren to hate their own father.
You asked me how it was liketo sleep in Yale's arms. I also wanted to askyou, Lily, why would you want to hang on to someone who clearlydoes not want to be with you at all? Lily, you areintelligent, highly-educated and you have a high-paying andwell-respected job. So why did you spendso much time and energy trying to force someone who does not careabout you to stay with you? As a fellow woman Iwant to ask you this, don't you think you deserve better? If there'sanything that is worse than sleeping in the arms of another woman'shusband, it is sleeping in the arms of someone who resents you,cannot stand you and wants to run away from you whenever he gets achance. SoLily, why would you want to put yourself in thatsituation? Once again, don't you think you deservebetter?
I sincerely hope that thepain you are currently feeling will subside soon and you can turn anew leaf in your life. Please remember, youcan lose a job, you can lose a spouse, but you should never loseyourself. And please, do not vent your negative feelings on yourchildren. They are innocent. Please always keep inmind their best interests rather than your own. You deserve truehappiness, and I hope that you will find it soon.
rince, Jamaliah